night of a thousand weirdness…

Posted on Posted in humor, life

UPDATE: The siren was the gay-dar going off. LOL

So the hallmark of the night was an interesting situation. Allow me to preface the story by adding that whilst standing in front of porcelain urinal, I heard a siren, like I would hear at The Oak Bar in Wyandotte when the Red Wings scored. I thought … WTF is that? And carried on.

Immediately upon reentry to my comfort zone, I noticed that there was someone sitting to the right of my previous location at the bar. All of my personal effects were stationed there, serving as an obvious “Hey fucker, I’m sitting here.” One would not heed this warning, however, and prompted an interesting, and later infuriating situation.

The first of clues as to what the siren meant:

Person to my right: “I notice you took off your jewelry … Why is that?”
Me: “Umm, (struggling for an explanation) … It’s what I do to feel comfortable; sometimes the ring doesn’t fit on my finger.”
Thing to my right: “Does it like sometimes not fit you?”
Me: “Yeah, sometimes in the morning the ring doesn’t fit right on my finger.”
Oddity: “Have you ever lost your jewelry in the bathroom?”

At this point I was thinking “Wheree in the living hell could this person be going with this?”. Wait, no I wasn’t. I was thinking: “Wow, this dude is fucking queer, and is seriously hinting at whether I’ve had a gay encounter in the bathroom.”

So yeah, cue all kinds of odd conversation about where the 41 year old curly haired “Hucky” (as he introduced himself) has been around the country. “All people do around here is drink and eat”, he says. “Right, people do tend to live a life of excess”, I concede, trying to be a nice human being to what is obviously a complete disaster to my right. And the rest of the conversation is: “blahblahblah” “blahblahblah” “blahblahblah”. Finally the dude gets the body language and leaves. Thank god. I’ve been nice too long. Later I ended up being pissed that I was so nice, but all is well.

Such is all I’m inclined to communicate at the moment. Perhaps the second half of the saga will be revealed at a later date.

For now, M is signing off and getting some needed unconsciousness.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *